Let me tell you, the answer is no.
The good news is we have all been born with the same potential. What most of us do not know is, our lives are determined by what we think, our beliefs and our concept of self.
What we think controls our actions, good and bad. What we believe about ourselves, determines what we achieve in our lives. Those beliefs are unconscious and controlled by our emotions and help determine how we react.
These thoughts are like a computer program running in the background, affecting the overall function of the computer, but not visible on the computer screen.
So, where do our beliefs come from?
As children, we learn from our families, teachers, mentors, society and culture. Children’s brains are unable to reject comments.
Therefore, these comments are accepted and tucked into the subconscious brain, waiting to provide direction in responding to the world around us.
Kids raised being told they are dumb or will not achieve anything in life often do poorly academically and accept employment that reflects their poor sense of self. These kids grow up to become adults who believe they can’t achieve what others can.
When you look at successful people, consistently their beliefs reflect that they believe they are capable of doing what they desire. Many people’s inability to make change in their lives results from a lack of awareness of their poor sense of self.
Working harder doesn’t always mean success. In other words, the results we achieve are directly related to what we think, expressed in our behaviours. In order to change our outcomes, we have to change our beliefs.
What’s exciting is, we all have the ability to change what we think to change our lives, regardless of where we come from or what we have.
Is it easy to change our beliefs? No. Is it doable? You bet. Thinking is a habit and all habits can be changed.
Studies show that kids who are told they are brilliant will do well academically. The opposite is also true. Words can either hurt us or help us.
To start to make a change, we have to determine what our beliefs are. It is easy to figure out. Look at the things that upset you emotionally — there is a belief driving the behaviour.
Take some time to reflect on where the emotion is coming from. It is often based on a comment instilled in your subconscious mind. What is wonderful is you can reject those beliefs and create new ones.
Those same kids that were told they could not be successful, when told how brilliant they were, showed an improvement in their academic standing.
Many of the most successful people also had negative beliefs about themselves, but when they made the choice to reject old thoughts and replace them with supportive and positive comments, outcomes in their lives changed.
Changing our thoughts and beliefs is like removing a computer program. It is doable with a some work. Take charge of your life, focus on what you want and most importantly, believe you can.
And don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t.
Karen Hourtovenko, RN(EC), is a Sudbury-based health and wellness consultant.
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