In a move which drew applause from the mourners who packed the Jackson and Barnard Funeral Home chapel, Rev. Shelley Kennedy pulled off her minister's robes, revealing the Sanctuaries band t-shirt she wore underneath.
“You know, my grandson is in the Sanctuaries,” Kennedy said, speaking Jan. 7 at the funeral for 19-year-old Cole Howard.
“I said last night (at the visitation) I feel like showing up at the funeral tomorrow in my Sanctuaries shirt and jeans. The kids looked at me and said 'Do it.' We all have to honour him in our own way. I am so proud to wear this shirt, because that was him.”
Howard, the drummer with the local metal band Sanctuaries, was one of four teens killed Jan. 3 in a car crash on Highway 69. He is survived by his father, James, and mother, Terry-Anne, and his brothers, Conor and Mason.
Three other teens were also killed the same day in another car crash on Highway 17.
Kennedy's grandson, 14-year-old Connor Kennedy, is one of the survivors of the Highway 69 crash, and was one of Howard's band-mates.
“Cole was a gift, and spread laughter and kindness and love everywhere he went,” she said. “For the gift of this young man, I give thanks and praise to God.”
She said Cole's death shows us that “life is such a gift. It's something very precious, something each one of us should value and cherish every day that we have.”
Cole's uncle and godfather, Tim Howard, shared memories of his nephew during the service.
The funeral for 19-year-old Cole Howard, a local musician who was killed in a car crash last week, was held Jan. 7. Supplied photo.
He said he was “excited, elated and very proud” when Cole was born April 29, 1992.
“He was an unbelievable nephew,” Tim said.
“He was quick to crawl, talk and walk. Once he started to walk, I thought it was my position to purchase his first running shoes. I went to the mall to find the coolest runners I could find. I returned with a pair of Nikes.”
Tim also reminisced about his nephew's love for Lego, video games and reenacting medieval battles.
There came a time, though, when Tim learned that Cole had gotten into trouble. Cole's father, James, asked Tim what he should do.
“I said, 'Jamie, what would your dad do?'” Tim said.
“Jamie said 'He'd kick our ass.' I said 'Well?' He said 'I'll take care of it.' Jamie, that was the proudest moment of my life, knowing what a wonderful father you are. You taught Cole right and wrong. You took care if it, but you took care of it properly. Yes, he did wrong, but he learned from it.”
Cole's childhood friend, Mark Mancini, also spoke during the service.
He said they were “inseparable” as children, and that Cole taught him some important lessons.
“By nature I'm a person who is very orderly, and I'm scared to take risks,” Mancini said.
“Cole taught me how to take risks. There would be so many nights when we'd be out late, playing video games. I'd say 'Cole, I've got to go.' He'd say '10 more minutes.' 10 minutes turned to three or four hours or a sleepover. Today, I have to say I think of Cole when I'm about to take a risk.”
The friends drifted apart as they grew older. However, Mancini said he ran into Cole two months ago, and they caught up. It was to be their last conversation.
“That is a sign of a friendship that's everlasting, if you can meet someone on the street that you haven't seen for a couple of years, and just revisit memories you have with them,” he said.
Nineteen-year-old Nathan Rhodes, who spoke to Northern Life outside of the funeral home, said a lot of his best memories involve Cole.
The two attended Wembley Public School and Sudbury Secondary School together, and spent time together on a weekly basis.
“Words can't even explain how much he meant to me,” Rhodes said.
“You know when you hang out with someone for a long time, their personality rubs off on you. His personality definitely rubbed off on me the most out of everyone I know.”
Other funerals
Funerals and memorial services for three of the other teens killed in the recent car crashes also took place Jan. 7.
Laurentian University president Dominic Giroux attended memorial services for 18-year-old Keegan Melville and 19-year-old Zabrina Rekowski in Renfrew Jan. 7. Both Melville and Rekowski attended Laurentian.
Giroux said in a Facebook post it was “very, very emotional day.”
“At Keegan's service, Renfrew Collegiate Institute's large and impressive jazz band played,” Giroux said.
“Keegan's high school music teacher and band leader was devastated. She wanted Keegan to be her successor. Others interpreted with emotion 'Soldier,' as well as 'Angel Wings' by Sarah McLachlan. Arnprior Pipe Band also joined.
“Keegan was piped out of the packed Horton Community Centre (over 300 people in attendance) by his brother; community stayed behind, standing in silence for very long minutes after. Over 60 Laurentian students and staff made the trip. I can't express enough my pride in our students and residence staff.
“There was also a very large and moving community turnout for Zabrina's celebration of life at a local restaurant. Both families could not believe how much their son and daughter had 'grown' in only one semester at Laurentian. I also spent time with Hagar accident survivor Emily Olmstead and her mother. Their strength is really impressive.
“Please hug your kids tonight. As one family told Laurentian students today, 'Make the days count, don't count the days.'"
Seventeen-year-old Alyssa McKeown's funeral was held Jan. 7 at St. Mary's Roman Catholic Church in Barrie.
Eighteen-year-old Torry Laurain McIntyre's funeral takes place at Lakeshore Missionary Church in North Bay Jan. 8 at 2 p.m. Eighteen-year-old Jessica Chamberland's funeral takes place Jan. 10 at 11 a.m. at Holy Redeemer Church in Sudbury.
Funeral details for 19-year-old Hillary Afelski have not yet been confirmed.
Posted by Heidi Ulrichsen
