Jasmine Kochar has faced a series of cruel tragedies in her young life that forced her to grow up fast.
Ten years ago, when she was 15, and her sisters — twins Simran and Karuna — were 12, her mom, Davinder (Daphne), went missing.
Daphne, 42, was found dead, her body rolled up in a carpet, in the bush near Estaire on Dec. 27, 2005. The case was officially deemed a homicide the following March after police found personal items belonging to Daphne in another bush area near Lively.
In April 2012, Dr. Harinder Kochar — Daphne's husband, and Jasmine, Simran and Karuna's dad — was found dead in his medical office in Lindsay, Ont., where he'd moved in 2007.
Police did not pursue a criminal investigation. Harinder's second wife told Lindsay media that he'd left a note saying he wasn't responsible for Daphne's death.
Harinder was under a court order to pay $200,000 in retroactive child support to the grandparents of his three children. The girls went to live with their maternal grandparents in Florida about 18 months after their mom's death.
But Jasmine, now a bubbly 25-year-old who works in experiential education at the University of Toronto, would rather focus on the beautiful legacy her mom left behind than these dark days.
Memory honoured
She came back to her hometown Nov. 6 to participate in a ceremony at MacLeod Public School honouring her late mother's volunteer efforts. A maple tree has been planted at the school in Daphne's memory.
Jasmine said her mom was always at her school when she was young, lending a hand to the staff at MacLeod and later at Lo-Ellen Park Secondary School.
At the time, she found it embarrassing, but now aspires to emulate her mom's enthusiastic and giving nature. She said the fact that she chose to work in education is probably her mom's influence.
“I don't think I'm worthy of the title my mother's daughter quite yet, but I aspire to be,” Jasmine said. “She was just so warm and welcoming, and I'd love to live in that legacy.”
A decade later, no arrests have been made in Daphne's death, but the case remains open, said Acting Det. Insp. Mark Zulinski of the OPP's North Bay Criminal Investigative Branch, who recently took over the case.
He wasn't able to give much detail about the investigation to date, as it might compromise future attempts to identify the killer. He did say the OPP has collected forensic evidence and conducted interviews.
“We always hope that every crime can get solved, but in reality, that's not the case,” Zulinkski said.
“We do everything we can solve our cases, including this one. But at this time, we just haven't gathered enough evidence to be able to lay any charges.”
Even if the murderer has since passed away, Zulinkski said the OPP still wants to solve the case for the sake of Daphne's family. He said there's been cases that have been solved 10 or even 20 years later.
The OPP hasn't had any recent tips, but Zulinkski encourages anyone who might remember something that could be useful to phone Crime Stoppers at 705-222-TIPS.
'Separate from her memory'
Jasmine said she appreciates everything the OPP is doing to solve her mother's murder.
“But the case, to me, is separate from her memory,” she said. “And so for me, I do feel a sense of closure in that she is still remembered by the community in such a positive light.”
Kerri Monaghan, a former MacLeod Public School teacher who taught two of the three Kochar kids, paid tribute to Daphne's volunteer efforts during the Friday ceremony.
Daphne was determined to make sure that all children were included and had what they needed to succeed, she said.
She recalled how the woman often left a bag full of school supplies, snacks and children's clothing in the classroom so that needy kids wouldn't go without.
When Daphne heard about some children being excluded from a graduation party, she held a huge bash at her home, and invited the entire graduating class.
“Her actions and volunteerism were a thing of true beauty,” Monaghan said.
MacLeod Public School chose to honour Daphne's efforts because she inspired a culture of volunteerism at the school, said principal Lynn MacDonell.
She said Daphne's fellow parent volunteers have continued to spend their time at MacLeod, even after their children graduated.
“I think that level of commitment to our school needs to be honoured,” MacDonell said.
Bela Ravi was a close friend of Daphne's. The women got to know each other through their daughters, who were close in age, and clicked because of their shared Indian heritage and interest in volunteerism.
On the day Daphne went missing, Ravi scoured the city for her friend, looking for her at the bus and train stations and at local hotels. “Unfortunately, you know what happened, and it was devastating for all of us,” she said. “It still is.”
The tree planted in Daphne's memory at MacLeod is a fitting tribute, Ravi said.
“I can't wait for springtime, when that tree blooms,” she said. “There'll be a nice bench where we can sit and reflect. She loved kids, and the tree looks over the playground. It can't be more fitting than that.”
