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Revealing true stories of schizophrenia

In his right ear, Allan Jones hears positive affirmations. “I call it my inner voice, which is the good voice,” he said. “It says 'do not worry.'” In his left ear, Jones hears less welcome things. “It tells me daily to take my life,” he said.
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Allan Jones recently published a memoir of his struggles with schizophrenia. The Sudburian will be signing copies of the book during the Northern Initiative for Social Action's Mental Health Week exhibition at Bertolo's Homemade Food on May 9 from 7-9 p.m. Photo by Jenny Jelen.

In his right ear, Allan Jones hears positive affirmations.

“I call it my inner voice, which is the good voice,” he said. “It says 'do not worry.'”

In his left ear, Jones hears less welcome things.

“It tells me daily to take my life,” he said. “It's rude.”

Day in and day out, Jones is subject to hearing both voices. He understands they exist only his head, but he still has to deal with them — filter the negative messages from the positive, and continue living his life.

Like 20 per cent of the population, Jones suffers from a mental illness. He has schizophrenia.

The lifelong Sudburian recently chronicled his journey through illness in the pages of The Book of Al. The Story of a Psychiatric Survivor: Me is a real-life recollection of the traumas he faced — psychotic episodes, delusional thinking and the suicide of his older brother.

The pages of his memoir also tell of the writer's successes. Jones, who used a pen name for the project, spent years working as a diesel mechanic, and has two adult daughters who've recently made their way through university.

“I believe that people suffering from mental health issues have a lot to contribute to the world,” he said.

With a desire to tell his own story, Jones called upon the Northern Initiative for Social Action. Dinah Laprairie, editor of NISA's Open Minds Quarterly, helped Jones put his thoughts on paper.

“Allan's voice comes through so well,” Laprairie said.

“It's honest and candid, and as a reader I really appreciated that. His story was not easy to tell, and we spoke at great length about what to include and how much. He has met his goal, I think, in crafting a story that will show how any human is vulnerable to illness.”

That's simply what the writer wanted to do through the pages of his story.

“I just care about demystifying the whole thing,” he said. “I wanted to explain to people what mental illness is. People have to know how horrific it is to have a mental illness or a mental health issue.”

While he has come a long way in battling his own demons, Jones is far from being free. Still, he said he must keep himself occupied to keep horrific thoughts from becoming realities.

“Eighty per cent of the day, I think of suicide,” he said. “Not for the things I have done, but due to the disease. It's due to paranoid schizophrenia. A lot of people have suicidal ideation. I'm not the only one who thinks like this.”

During Mental Health Week, when Jones launches his book, NISA is hoping to draw attention to the number of people living with mental illness, and give them an outlet to express themselves.

“Mental illness affects all of us, as most of us know someone in our lives, in our communities that has been touched by mental illness,” said Shana Calixte, executive director of NISA.

On top of his book launch, which takes place May 9 from 7-9 p.m. at Bertolo’s Homemade Food, located at 93 Durham St., the Awakenings art exhibition will also kick off.

“Art provides a real connection for all people,” Calixte said. “It can bring to light so many different journeys, so many recovery stories. This annual exhibition allows us to showcase the diverse and exciting work by our members and allows those in the community to experience the various perspectives of those who use the services of the mental health sector.”

Art will be on display from May 4-11. Stop by to view the works. To pick up a copy of Jones' book, stop by Black Cat or visit nisa.on.ca for links. Copies can also be ordered online.


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